How To Find a Way Back to Faith: Peter’s Story

The morning had been a whirlwind of activity after a long night of nothing. Last night, Peter and some of the other disciples of Jesus went fishing. It was Peter’s idea. He was still grappling with the rapid changes that had taken place in his life over the last weeks. So, he went to the place where he felt most himself, the sea.

Peter had followed Jesus with his whole heart through three and a half years of ministry. Peter could still feel the desperation of that night in the garden when soldiers had arrested his Teacher. He had once told the Master that there was no one else to turn to but Jesus. Peter had confessed that Jesus was the Messiah, the Son of God. But a lot had changed since then. He had watched Jesus crucified like a common criminal, buried in a rich man’s tomb, and astounding them all by rising from the dead.

This morning, the fishermen had approached the shore in defeat, exhausted from a long night with no catch to show for it. To their surprise, Jesus called out to them from the beach. He told them where to cast their nets, and they hauled in the largest catch they could remember. Peter did not know what had come over him, but he cast himself into the sea. Once, he had walked on the water with Jesus. But it felt like a lifetime had passed since then.

Peter waded to the shore to welcome the Master. Jesus cooked the fish they caught, along with some bread. Now, Peter sat next to Jesus and the fire, waiting for the flames to dry out his soaked fisherman’s coat.  

Jesus’ voice, at once gentle and authoritative, broke his attention from the flickering fire before him. “Peter, do you love me?” Suddenly, Peter remembered another fire. It was the fire he sat near when a girl approached him and said, “You were with Jesus!” He had looked her in the eye and said, “I know Him not.” That was before. Before he had walked into the empty tomb. Before he had seen Jesus’ newly resurrected body.

He looked up into Jesus’ eyes now. His voice low, he replied, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love You.” There was no use hiding from Jesus. He had always spoken Peter’s innermost thoughts with clarity even Peter could not have expressed. Instead of confirming Peter’s words, Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

Before Peter could ponder what that meant, Jesus asked again, “Peter, do you love me?” Peter’s vision blurred. Instead of Jesus’ intent gaze, he saw the face of the man who had pointed at him by that fire. “You are one of them!” He had responded bitterly, “Man, I am not!” No matter what had happened since then, Peter couldn’t seem to shake the guilt. He met Jesus’ eyes again and gave the same answer. There was no other answer. Was there? Jesus told him again, “Feed my sheep.”

Somehow, Peter knew Jesus would ask again. The man who had approached him last before the palace fire had said, “I know who you are. You were with Jesus. You have a Galilean accent.” He remembered his angry words to the man, cursing and swearing, as he bit out, “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

Now, Peter bowed his head in shame even as Jesus asked the third time, “Peter, do you love me?” His eyes met Jesus’ eyes once more, brimming with tears, “Lord, you know everything. You know I love You.” Just as He had at their first meeting on the shores of this sea, Jesus laid out a few of the costs Peter would have in following Him. And just as He had the first time Peter dropped his nets, Jesus said, “Follow me.”

Suddenly. everything dropped away. All the horror of watching His Lord brutally maligned and murdered. All the fearful crouching for three days while awaiting the soldiers to come for them. The bewilderment when the women came to tell them Jesus’ body was gone. Most of all, the guilt that clung to him more tightly than his wet fisherman’s coat seemed to waft away with the smoke from the fire before him.

Follow You? Yes, Lord. After all, to whom else can I go? He did not speak the words aloud. When he met Jesus’ eyes this time, he saw he didn’t have to. Jesus knew. He knew it all. Seeing Jesus’ broad smile, Peter suddenly knew as well. Jesus forgave it all. Jesus loved Him. And Peter knew he would allow nothing could stop him from following his Master ever again.   

Scriptures used: Mark 14: 66-72, Luke 22:54-60, John 6:68, John 21

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