The scene always began much the same way. My father would get out his Bible and read a few verses. He did not expound on them like he did when preaching a sermon. Dad just read and spoke simply so his three kids could understand. However, something about the formality of the situation never failed to make someone snicker. Then another. And pretty soon, family worship attempt 1,362 ended much the same as the times before it. Everyone laughing hysterically about something not at all funny. Well, everyone except Dad. He just looked defeated and maybe a tad annoyed.
Now, I sit in church and hear the occasional preacher admonish all the parents in the crowd, “You must be having family worship with your children.” The statement alone makes me want to snicker right in the middle of church. I have learned a few things over the years. So, I have schooled my expression and my opinion. Until now.
First of all, let me share a few cautions about family worship. It is possible to worship our family devotions instead of God. Here are a few common ways that happens:
Gauge our spirituality by our family worship.
Worship is an intensely personal experience between a person and God. Yes, worship can happen corporately or even as a family. However, worship from the heart is a result of one’s union with God, not a proof of it. Too many people think that because they read their Bible every day or say a few words directed at the ceiling, they are more spiritual than others.
The one who truly loves God wants to spend time with Him. Yet, the true worshipper is too busy enjoying God and hearing from His Word to determine how he measures up to someone else. If the main reason a family is worshipping together is to show others how “spiritual” they are, they are vastly missing the point of worship.
Use family worship to manipulate our spouses.
I have sat in many Christian women’s circles over the years, online and offline. One of the biggest complaints Christian wives make is, “My husband doesn’t even have family devotions. He just won’t lead us spiritually.”
Many times, the solution is to take it upon themselves to remind their husband daily (aka “nag”) that it is time for family devotions. Or they bombard him with quotes from pastors or, worse, their friends’ “more spiritual” husbands, about the importance of family devotions. Sometimes they just take the passive route and claim that submission dictates that they do not read the Bible to their children at all, since their spiritual leaders do not do it.
It never seems to occur to wives that allowing someone to lead means letting them do things their way. They are wresting the leadership from their husbands by manipulating them. In spiritual leadership, the husband leads as the Lord directs him. I am not saying that the Christian wife does not have input. However, manipulation is never a healthy form of communication in any relationship.
Replace the biblical method with a man-made method.
It is still amazing to me that many Christians follow the latest best-selling author’s writing before they search the Scriptures. Many authors give helpful commentary on the Scriptures and show us how to work them out practically in our lives. However, many cults have formed when one leader exalts his or her opinion above the known Word of God. Paul told his followers to only follow him as he followed Christ and His teachings.
I once read apologist Josh McDowell’s opinion of family worship. If I were to compile a Top 100 list of people who knew how to train kids right, surely he is on there. He has debated on virtually any issue that counters Christianity for decades. Now, his son, Sean, has masterfully taken up apologetics for a new generation.
Although Josh has written at least one book on family worship, he said once that their family did not focus on a time of formal family worship. The McDowells didn’t want to confine Bible study and discussion to a 15 or 20-minute time every day. Instead, they practiced the type of family worship depicted in Deuteronomy 6.
When I read that, a light bulb went off for me. Of course! That’s exactly what our family did! Did my parents abandon teaching us God’s Word when our family worship sessions ended in futility? Not at all. My parents practiced Deuteronomy 6. So what did that look like? I’ll get to that in a minute. First, let’s read what the Scripture says, beginning in verse 4:
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord: and thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
Apparently, God first wants us parents to have a love for Him and to have our own personal worship in order before we get to family worship. But let’s go on:
And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
That is exactly how family worship went in our house. While we were sitting at dinner, we would discuss everything from the origins of the world to eternal security. When we were driving in the car, we would sing worship songs at the top of our voices in 5-part harmony (It took a while to perfect the harmony part!).
Each morning, Dad would drive us to school with a quick prayer or admonition to live for Jesus as we waved goodbye. At bedtime, Mom and Dad would come in and pray with us and find out if there was something hurting our relationship with them or with God.
When we came home from school with a relationship or theological question, Dad would get out his Bible and show us the answer. And while Mom never considered herself very “theological,” she could fit theology into a pithy statement that stuck with us. We might have been able to debate with Dad about if the specifics of a certain behavior were, indeed, sin. However, Mom would just give us that one reproachful look and say, “But that doesn’t please Jesus,” and we knew she was right, no matter what Matthew Henry or Adam Clarke might say.
I suppose if I were to boil down this long, Dad-worthy discussion on family worship in my Mom’s way, I could just say this: Family worship is nothing more than a family living life together, worshipping the God they all adore in whatever they do. Or, better yet, in the Words of Scripture:
Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.