Valentine’s Day. It’s only a week away. The feelings on this holiday are so very mixed. I’ve seen articles describing how it’s a pagan holiday and Christians shouldn’t celebrate it. I’ve heard people calling it a Hallmark holiday, commercializing romance. People choose to celebrate or ignore it for varied reasons.
If you’ve followed my words here for very long, you know how I feel about this holiday. I wrote about it in detail here: Why We Celebrate Valentine’s Day
While researching this post, I brushed up on the history of Valentine’s Day and got about five very different stories with none of them very definite. However, here are a few that rose to the top, and these are what I’m sticking with for now:
The Story Behind St. Valentine
Discover the Christian History of Valentine’s Day
(Note: I’m in no way endorsing the products on these pages. My intent is only to share the articles for information purposes on Valentine’s Day and its history.)
To summarize the history, a Christian man felt marriage to be important enough to defy the unjust Emperor and be martyred for his stance. As far as I know, he wasn’t even married himself. However, he knew an important truth that we are losing as a society. I am appealing to my Christian readers with the remainder of this post. Of all the people in the world, Christians should uphold marriage. But why? What if I’m single, or widowed, or a young person not yet ready for marriage? Why should it matter to me? I’m glad you asked. Let’s explore a few reasons.
Marriage was created by God.
When we think of God’s creation, we may include humans as the Grand Finale of the beautiful new world He made in six days. However, a lot happened on that sixth day. Adam recognized that he, as a male, was only half of the image of his Creator. While he was a distinct and complete individual with his own relationship with God, he was not able to fulfill the mission God had given him alone. Before the final day of Creation was over, God officiated at the first wedding of all time. Marriage gave to Adam a counterpart who could help him do the work to which God had called him. Marriage gave him a beautiful friendship and companionship which he would never have with another person. And marriage was the only God-ordained way to create the family unit and to procreate.
Marriage is the only way to have a fulfilling, long-term relationship.
Over the millennia humans have lived on this earth, we have tried many ways to connect romantically with other humans. We have tried relationship without marriage and seen disastrous results. We have tried polygamy and polyamory and have seen the devastation they leave behind. We’ve tried all kinds of unions in the name of religion and in the complete absence of it. We’ve tried to fill the longing for our counterparts with cheap substitutes and relationships not meant to fulfill those desires. Yes, marriage without Christ can lead to emptiness, and some marriages with Christ have strayed from His ideal. However, within the confines of marriage is the only way to experience the beautiful love intended by the Creator for a lifetime.
Marriage is the healthiest way for a family to thrive.
I have heard the arguments about how no marriage is better than a bad marriage for children. And how some have no choice in being a single parent due to abandonment, widowhood or other circumstances. I would be the last one to condemn anyone for even their own past failures that have left them parenting alone. However, God’s way still works the best for children to grow up with the healthiest adjustments and preparedness for life.
Marriage is the best earthly picture of Christ’s love for us.
I went into detail about this in my post I linked above. Jesus wants our marriages to be a shadow of an even greater love. He wants the husband to love his wife as much as Christ loved us. He wants the wife to love her husband with respect just as Christians give love and respect to Christ. A marriage patterned after His principles, even though we are imperfect humans, gives us just a taste of the beauty of our relationship with Him and the joy to come.
So, what can you do about marriage if you are single for whatever reason? How can you honor it as St. Valentine did? I hope none of us has to be martyred for marriage as he was! However, here are just a few ideas of how you can honor this lovely creation of God, on Valentine’s Day and beyond:
~ Be a joyful participant at a Christian wedding, celebrating the couple’s union.
~ Offer to watch a couple’s children so they can enjoy a dinner out.
~ Be a big brother or sister to a child or teen and mentor them in the ways of Jesus.
~ Speak supportively of marriage to others, whether you intend to marry or not.
~ Contribute to causes with your time and money that uphold family values.
~ If teaching is your gift, teach God’s plan for romance, marriage and family in your church or to other women.
~ Stand against practices that undermine marriage and the family such as pornography and abuse, while offering help to those caught in or victimized by them.
~ Keep yourself pure so others can see Jesus in you and, if God leads you to marriage, you will be able to offer your love as He does.
These are just a few ideas to support the institution of marriage in our fallen world. The best is yet to come, though. When we get to Heaven, I believe we will finally realize the reason for marriage. We will be forever loved and known by our Savior and live with Him forever.
I must close a post like this with a gesture of compassion to many of you. If you are sorrowing because of a longing for an unrealized marriage or a disastrous marriage or a marriage that ended too soon, my heart hurts for you. Because of sin, our world has been marred and no marriage is untouched. Loss of spouses and children are too real. Infertility is a heavy burden too many couples bear. And abuses and the effects of sin have made romantic relationships and parenthood seem impossible for many.
Please know that you are loved and seen. And know that there is hope. Even if you never have the relationships you long for with other humans on this earth, every one of us has the opportunity of relationship. We can have a relationship with the One Who never leaves, Who always loves, Who sacrificed His very life for our salvation and Who waits with open arms for each of us to pour out our hearts to Him. He never married. He never had children. He only maintained earthly relationships with family and friends for 33 short years. Yet, He wants to be to you all that you need Him to be.