Note: This is the third in a series about our 20th anniversary year. If you want to read the background on that, go here.
It’s March 14, 1997. We are late by about 3 hours as we enter the pastor’s home at the little church where we are meeting. My friend and I carpool to these quarterly youth weekends where groups of young people meet at a small church and help them reach out to the community over a weekend. On her way to pick me up, she hit a deer, which delayed her. It’s after 10 PM on a Friday night, but the rest of the group is already gathered when we arrive. I glance around the room and see a few new faces. Two new girls and an older blonde guy sitting over in the corner. Still young enough to be in the group, but probably older than my 16 years.
We settle in for the weekend and minister at the little church. I find out it is the home church of the three newcomers. Instead of going home with my friend, I stay for the final Sunday evening. My parents are in ministry and are arriving tomorrow. Our family will stay at this same church and do the singing and my dad the preaching for a revival meeting next week.
I only have two interactions with the older blonde guy (who is cute but way too old). One is to help organize a singing group in which I give him a solo. The other is after my family arrives. I leave something in the church and have to get back in. I struggle with the handle a bit, and it will not open. Older (cute) Blonde Guy, who I find is named Jeff, comes over to open it for me (nice gentleman). He comments as he swings it open with ease, “You have to be smarter than the door.” (Not a nice gentleman!)
___________________________
It’s March 14, 1998. A lot can happen in a year, and I don’t even realize that it is the anniversary of the day we met. It feels like we’ve always known each other. It’s a Saturday night, and we’re in revival services. Jeff walks in to our church and surprises me. I wasn’t expecting him to visit, but there he is. Relationships are all about managing expectations. I’m just beginning to learn this.
I’m already on the platform playing the keyboard, but that very handsome blonde guy (who isn’t too old after all) walks right up to the platform to say hello. We officially became a couple back in August, and it has been an amazing journey of getting to know one another. After church, he says he wants to take me to dinner. This isn’t a usual thing at 9:00 in the evening, so I’m a little nervous. I’m kind of expecting what might happen, but I have no idea when. Relationships are all about managing expectations. I take small bites all during dinner to make sure my mouth isn’t full if he asks an important question.
After dinner, he asks me if I want to go to the park. Also not a usual thing at 10:00 in the evening. But, of course, I say yes. The park is actually a lake in the middle of town. We take a short walk around the edge. I notice that it is covered with ice. March in Ohio is kind of a mix of weather conditions. This night it is still quite frigid. We sit on a bench to warm up a bit, and he drops to one knee. He says the sweetest words, simple but genuine and unaffected, as I have come to expect from this man. Relationships are all about managing expectations after all. Those promises he makes tonight, he will keep for the next twenty years. Of that, I have no doubt. I can expect that fully.
___________________________
On our recreation of our engagement evening, it was uncharacteristically warm for March. I was looking forward to a warmer walk at the lake to reminisce about that special evening. We took our time over dinner at the same restaurant. The owner stopped by briefly to chat. He’d seen us around a bit over the last 20 years. I took normal bites, and we still talked of dreams but of a different variety than that night long ago. These dreams involve our kids and our future as a married couple and the life stuff to which we’ve grown accustomed.
As we headed outside to enjoy our warm evening stroll at the lake, rain was coming down in sheets. No warm spring rain, but the kind of rain that caused me to wonder if roads would flood on our way home. So much for my expectation! We sat in our truck and finished all the words that we never get in edgewise with four kids about. We watched the rain and enjoyed the scenery just as much as we would have the warm stroll by the lake. After all, relationships are all about managing expectations.