Here it is again…the holiday everyone loves or hates: Valentine’s Day. I have written about Valentine’s Day here and here, so I won’t repeat myself (much). Instead, I want to take you on an artistic journey on this path we call “love.” You see, we English speakers have such a limited view of love. For example, I might say I love pizza, my mom, and your outfit. I would hope it is clear that I do not love them all equally. However, we only have one word that describes the entire spectrum of something or someone we like very much.
While I am far from a linguist, I have learned that the Greek language has at least 4 definitions for the word “love.” If you want to know more, C.S. Lewis (of Narnia fame) wrote about them in his book, “The Four Loves.” Here’s a synopsis: Four Types of Love. But for my purposes, we are going to meander through each of them using pictures, stories, and songs. Ready? Follow me.
Friendship Love (Philia)
We met in seventh-grade music class. I would like to say we leaned on each other through middle school and high school. But when we switched tassels together with big smiles, I felt like she was there for me much more than I was there for her. She’s a top-notch artist, and I still call her when I need someone to transform my stick people into real-life images. Now we watch our kids play piano and smile about how much they remind us of a couple of other kids long ago.
C.S. Lewis says in “The Four Loves”:
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought that no one but myself…
She did that for me when we met through our kids’ homeschool group. Whether we are nerding out on grammar rules, sharing homeschool curriculum ideas, serving together on committees, or bemoaning weird phobias we have, we have frequent “You too?” moments. Miles separate us, but I still text/call/meet up with her when I can. These meetings never fail to bring a smile.
When I had to move away from my home of 21 years, I didn’t expect new friendships to have the depth of some of these older ones. I was wrong. She is willing to dig into deep philosophical or theological things with me. Or just laugh or cry together. Whatever we need at the moment. Each year we know one another, the more we can communicate with a knowing glance or an obscure reference.
I say I’m an introvert. That I don’t need a lot of people in my life. And I stand by that, but I still know which people matter most. These are the ones I call friends.
Family Love (Storge)
He was there when I was born and when each of my children was born. I saw him in the crowd when I was in the school play and at every piano recital. When I knelt at the altar and became a disciple of Jesus, he knelt across from me with tears in his eyes. And he was the one who placed my hand in my groom’s hand before turning around to officiate the wedding. I could say much more about my father, but maybe this song says it better:
So many times people come up to me and say, “I just love your mom.” And I smile. Because who wouldn’t? It’s a joke in our family how opposite we are, but the older I get … well, I’m not so sure. Her words come out of my mouth more and more. And more than that, the strength she has had over the years sustains me more than I ever could have imagined. She’s a lot of fun, always making people laugh. But I know the woman who picked up the pieces after her brother’s murder when she was only three. I know the woman who has had several death threats while in ministry with her husband and many hurts that go deeper than physical wounds. She’s the mom who stood up for me when I needed it, and yes, stood up to me when I needed it. In every sense, I wouldn’t be the woman I am without her.
While I have many family members I love, I cannot leave the subject of family love without mentioning the four incredible children God has lent me. The years have been so short, but I have learned so much more from them than they have learned from me. Being a mother is a lovely gift I do not take lightly.
Romantic Love (Eros)
I cannot say enough about the wonderful man God has given me. But romance isn’t all flowers, chocolates, and date nights. It’s the day in, day out; the highs and the lows. This is my favorite song (right now) to express how I feel about the lovely gift of marriage. (Just ignore the ad at the end. And yes, those are their actual wives.)
Divine Love (Agape)
I don’t mention this definition of love last because it’s less important than the others. Oh, no! Without this love, I could not experience the other loves fully. There was once a little girl who was so wrapped up in herself that she even made her goodness an idol of worship. Until she came face to face with Someone Who laid down His life for her. Because all the goodness she could wrap around her, even as a young teen, was only dirty rags. Yes, that girl was me. This is the rest of the story:
I hope on this Valentine’s Day, you have experienced each of these four loves. But maybe you don’t have loving friends, family, or a romantic partner. Can I just remind you that the last love, Divine Love, is offered to all? The Jesus I love and worship, Who loved me enough to die for me? He is standing there waiting for you, too.
Thanks for coming on this artistic journey with me. May you have a wonderful day celebrating the love in your life. I wish you all the best from the bottom of my heart.