When You Feel Like You’re Free Falling

There is a moment where time stands still and seems to suspend for a long while. There is a feeling of free falling, fearing reaching the bottom but fearing the fall at the same time.

There is only one solution to defy that pull of gravity. Gravity, being a law put in place by the Creator, can only be challenged by that same Creator. No, He will not change His laws or reverse them. Yet, in the midst of the free fall of fear, we can be held.

Being held suggests a tiny newborn, snuggling in the crook of Mama’s arm, resting through the tumults of the household around him. He wakes for the necessities of life: to eat or to be changed. He is not concerned with danger or falling. He is held.

Being held suggests a raging storm beating on a ship. While the ship rocks violently from side to side and water rushes the deck, it does not drift. All atop the water looks hopeless, but deep under the waves a heavy anchor bites into the solid ground. The ship is held.

In the last year, our free fall has dropped us to some new places we have never been. We catapulted into the death of a parent and plunged headlong into the grieving process. We woke one morning to a flooded basement and tossed or replaced some of our most costly possessions. We groped through the darkness of some tough decisions made by others and out of our control. Just when we thought we were able to slow the fall and start climbing back up, we found the predictability of a sixteen-year-old career jerked from beneath us.

No one enjoys the process of the fall. Sometimes the climb back up is even harder. Hopelessness grabs at our feet, threatening to drag us back. Fear paralyzes us, causing us to grasp the rope while peering down instead of up. When all the things we took for granted are gone, there is no crutch, no tangible thing to rest upon.

This is the beauty of a free fall. Without those things removed, there is no opportunity to be simply held. Not held by financial security, loving relationships or material possessions. Not held by hopes and dreams and sunny days.

No, the only way to be truly held is to know that were those Arms absent, there is nothing else to hold us. If there were no Anchor to grip the solid Rock, there is no other safety in place to keep our ship from being dashed against the rocks of circumstance.

We are beginning to see that the bottom may not be as hard of a landing as we feared. We are starting to find hand grips to climb back up from the free fall that has been our life. But, I never want to forget that there truly is no safety, no solid ground, no security in this life. There is only being held.