I was recently having a conversation by e-mail with a fellow author friend, Marilyn. She is always such an encouragement to our writer’s group, wears a lot of hats and even helped me promote my book when it came out. She is also a talented photographer, and she has published a lovely book of of her photos. You can meet her and get more information about her book here.
However, Marilyn and I compared notes about managing our time when we are doing lots of different things. Always the encourager, she suggested I share some of my thoughts with you readers.
When we struggle with time management, we often think a few more hours in our day would help. Or we blame ourselves for just not being “organized” enough, whatever that means. (See my thoughts on that here.) However, I think we need less time management and more priority management. James Clear, author of the bestselling Atomic Habits, says it this way:
I have learned that whenever I think, ‘I don’t have enough time to do that’ what I really mean is ‘I don’t have enough energy’ or ‘I am not actually interested in doing this.’
What I need to do a better job of is not managing my time, but rather caring for myself and identifying my true interests. When I am well rested and working on something I am genuinely excited about, finding time is rarely a problem.”
Before I share a few things that work for me, I must remind you that this will look different for everyone. These ideas are a possible template for how to set up your days rather than an exact prescription. So here goes:
Time block. It may be cliché advice by now, but time blocking works well for both getting things done and letting go of the guilt when I don’t get to something. I keep my time blocks general enough for flexibility, but specific enough so that if something doesn’t get accomplished during its time block, there’s always tomorrow. Here’s an example of what’s working right now:
Early Morning: Personal Hours (More about these later.)
Morning: Available for My Kids’ School and Housework Tasks
Lunch: Personal Hour
Afternoon: Work Time (School for me, Writing, Other Housework, Errands)
Dinner: Prep, Eating and Cleanup
Evening: Stuff with Family (Varies from night to night)
Late Evening: Personal Hours, Time with my husband.
If a task doesn’t get done in its time slot, I just move on to the next group of activities and save it for another day. If I need to schedule something into my day, I know where to put it without thinking too much about it or getting overwhelmed. For those of you who work full-time, you will have to set up time blocks differently. However, you can still set up time blocks for your time at home. In jobs where you are in control of your schedule, you can also implement time blocks with some creativity.
Prioritize my people. We all genuinely care about people, but sometimes it seems someone always wants something from you. It’s hard to set boundaries. I can totally relate! However, I can only invest in so many people in a day or week. So, I schedule my family first, then get to people after that as I can.
Here’s an example: One morning, I was running a little late for an English lesson with my 10th grader. His time slot was 9:30, but it was close to 10 when we started. I determined I was going to take all the time he needed, even if I was late to my weekly writer’s group meeting at 10:30 or had to miss it.
Note: Before you homeschool moms think I have every school thing scheduled in time slots like some super mom, I’ll remind you that my high schoolers work independently. They schedule their time to be with me, since they are mostly working on their own.
Here’s another example of prioritizing my people: If a friend asks me to get together, she knows that my family stuff comes first. The only one I will put ahead of my kids, when it makes sense, is my husband. This also means a monthly date night is crucial even though that looks different in different seasons.
Personal Hours. I found out early in my motherhood that I need time to care for my spiritual, physical, emotional, and intellectual needs to be my best for those around me. My solution is to establish what I call “personal hours” for certain things. Depending on my kids’ needs and the season, the “hour” was sometimes 15 minutes and sometimes now it can be 2 hours. However, the principle is the same.
Example: I have Personal Hours in the morning for my spiritual and intellectual needs (devotions, reading a non-fiction book, prayer, worship). I have a Personal Hour around lunchtime to eat mindfully, read a magazine or coffee-table book, and listen to quiet music. I have Personal Hours in the evening for physical and emotional needs (exercise, “fun” reading, hobbies to “wind down”). As for social time, I limit regular interaction to just a few friends and meet with them each about once a month as we are able.
Recognize the season and reevaluate often. My kids are all teens and young adults now, so the demand for my time is much less. I would say, each decade things change drastically with kids. When my kids were younger, social time was park days with other moms and their kids. Now, we all have our own friend groups. Sometimes I had to do personal hours along with my kids, but I taught them when it was “quiet time” and to respect my closed door unless it was an emergency. Now, I have to respect their personal hours. 🙂
Delete as much as possible. We can really only focus on a few things. So, I regularly ask myself a few questions:
1) What things do I do that no one else could do? This is always a shorter list than we think it is. Hint: It pretty much just involves family.
2) What things am I truly passionate about or called to? Hint: My ministries and work, not those that other people gave me.
3) What things do I dread doing on a regular basis? I can either stop them, delegate them, or find a way to do them that makes me enjoy them.
Let’s use cleaning my house as an example.
1) This is something that someone can do besides me.
2) I am not always passionate about it, but I am called to at least manage it since the Bible teaches for me to manage my home.
3) I do not always love it, but I can’t say I dread it either.
So, here are my options: I can stop cleaning (not recommended!), hire someone or delegate more to my kids, or make cleaning chores part of my routine where I exercise or listen to a podcast that I enjoy while I do them.
Just as Marilyn did in our conversation, I’m sure you have even more ideas for how to manage your time and priorities. Please leave them in the comments so others can benefit.
For more on time management from a fellow entrepreneur, check out this podcast from Gleaning and Gathering:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/reflections-finding-my-voice/id1605382208?i=1000547973107
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