It seems like it was from another lifetime and just yesterday both at the same time. In June, it will be twenty years since the day I walked down the aisle in white and joined my groom, also in white, at the front of the church to say our vows. A wedding is to marriage what the moment of childbirth is to raising a child. It’s not even the beginning but an introduction to the beginning. But now, facing our 20th year as a married couple, we have a little more perspective. Not as much as the couple sending their last child off to college or the couple celebrating their 75th anniversary. But certainly more than the starry-eyed kids we were back in 1999.
One of the things I’ve learned over the years is to cherish each moment. Some of the moments are memories and some of them are right in front of me, happening now. I don’t want to skip over either. So, I wanted to celebrate all year the memories we’ve made over the last 20. We go on an “official” date once a month (where it’s just the two of us, outside our four walls, sans kids). I hope to make those dates in 2019 reminiscent of a lovely 20 years. So here goes….
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My dad hands him a clunky cell phone that he tries to stuff into the pocket of his khakis. GPS isn’t a household acronym yet, and I don’t have my driver’s license yet. Cell phones are still one per family and for use in emergencies. Since my new boyfriend lives nearly 3 hours away and doesn’t know the area, Dad figures he might need to make a call when my directions fail.
Less than 20 minutes ago, this handsome blond drove up to our house in his silver Chrysler LeBaron convertible, stepped out of the car and handed me one red rose to commemorate our first date. I’m still pinching myself that he came all this way. I’ve been his girl for a month, and we’ve been writing and e-mailing back and forth. The dial-up e-mail is still long distance where he is so he pays a phone bill every time he even e-mails me, let alone the hours we’ve chatted on the phone. But tonight, he’s here, and we’re going on a real date….my first ever.
Dad’s nice and keeps the first date father talk short and non-embarrassing. We get into the car, and he asks me where I want to go to eat. One of the unexpected drawbacks of a long-distance relationship. I try to think of a restaurant that’s not McDonald’s but not expensive. The best I can come up with is Bob Evans. Fifteen minutes later, we are chatting face to face over his catfish dinner and my grilled chicken sandwich at a table by the window.
It is his idea to go miniature golfing after dinner, so we head to a nearby course. I mull over in my mind whether it’s appropriate to beat him or let him win on our first date and wonder briefly if I’ll have a choice. On the way, it starts to rain. We laugh and regroup and try to decide what to do instead. We decide to go to the mall. I hate shopping and he shops best for fishing gear and sorting through the 152,000 kinds of nuts and bolts at Home Depot, but neither of us know that yet. In spite of ourselves, we have a wonderful time walking around the mall, learning more about each other and continuing the ever-so-delicate process of falling head over heels in love.
The roads are slick from the rain, and he just might not be watching the road as diligently as he should. We’re both stunned when he stops too quickly and slides into a mammoth Lincoln in front of us. I have never been in an accident and have yet to drive a car. When he gets out to check the damage with the elderly man driving the other car, I find the situation terribly hilarious. When he gets back in, despite the fact that there is no damage, he doesn’t share my amusement. The relationship is too new for us to disagree out loud, but we get a little taste of the fact that just maybe, we won’t always see things from the same perspective. And that’s the beauty of a marriage, after all.
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When we decided to recreate our first date on this first month of our 20th year, we decided to skip both the miniature golfing and the fender bender. This time, we dropped off our four kids and headed to Bob Evans in his truck he bought to fit our whole family. I still got grilled chicken. He no longer likes catfish (whew!). When we were done, instead of waiting demurely while he paid our check, I headed to the front with my coupons and a gift card so we paid nothing for our discounted meal. We went to the mall for old time’s sake, but we know our limits. I took my very specific gift card from Christmas and made a very specific purchase that I planned ahead of time so there was no shopping involved. He looked for a shoe store to get some new work shoes, and found it now out of business. And because twenty years gives you new perspective and new ice cream shops to explore, we stopped by Coldstone’s on a freezing night, too. I looked in my purse for my BOGO coupon and remembered that I’d left it on the printer at home. He plunked down the cash for two full-price Love It ice cream treats. After all, 20 years is something to celebrate!
I love this! Enjoy!