At the beginning of January, it seems like everyone is making new goals or resolutions. I jump in tentatively by choosing a word of the year. But the reflections I make about life on the eve of each birthday feel a lot more personal. Tomorrow I will be officially a year older. I’m getting ever nearer to a new decade, and my yearly musings are getting more serious. I came across a journal from two years ago with writing prompts. One was to “Envision the YOU you want to become.” Another said to “be your own kind of beautiful.” From these I crafted an updated version for this new birthday. I’m writing it in present tense although I’ve by no means achieved becoming this person….maybe I never will. But maybe in this 30-something-th new year, I can get a little bit closer?
I live life fully, freely, fearlessly. The only One I seek to please is God. All others I seek to bless with my love and the gifts He gives me. I am at peace – whether in the storm or in a quiet season of life. I plan and prepare but delight in those surprises of Providence, looking for the alternate path He lays out for me. I am not governed by emotion nor do I stifle it – I recognize it as the gauge it is meant to be. I am not controlled by food but fueled by it. I enjoy it without guilt but do not romance or worship it. I eat mostly foods God has made in satisfying portions while realizing He is my Portion and all I need. I play music. I read and study. I write and color. I go on long, brisk walks. I ride my bike and play tennis. I teach, inviting my children and students to love the learning process. I listen, encourage and edify others, avoiding advice-giving and criticism even of the kindest variety. I spend the currency of moments, investing as many of them as I can into time with my Savior, then with the husband and children I love, then with the friends and family generously sprinkled along my life’s path.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made and therefore am my own kind of beautiful, crafted by the Creator of the world. Feminine grace. Strength of character. Looking deep into someone’s eyes and listening to them. Kind gestures with no thought of return. Gentleness. Quietly capable. Affirming others with words. A mind that dwells on positive, uplifting ideas and shares them in a constructive way. Not like a sponge, which soaks in everything, but like a sieve, which lets all flow through but that of substance. A body that is strong for each task but still bears the marks of being loved and giving love, of bearing life within and into the world four times. Slim, fit and healthy but soft, warm, tangible to those who love me. Wear clothes which are simple but elegant; modest; sophisticated but lovely. Take care for my appearance without obsessing. Bring music into the lives of others by living well before them. Inspiring instead of giving advice. Sipping and savoring life with those I love. Beauty that comes from a healthy spirit shining through this temporary shell called my body. An inviting smile, kind eyes, ears open to needs, hands reaching out, busy feet to hasten to God’s call.
I give generously from what I’ve been given and guide others on all the paths I have followed – for His glory and His alone.