I became a mother 16 years ago and my youngest child is now 7. It feels strange to type those numbers. I suppose that means I’ve experienced birth, babyhood, the toddler and the preschool stage four times. I have put two children through elementary school and one through middle school. Since we homeschool, I have now finished kindergarten a total of 5 times. And, I’m in the middle of high school once again with a whole different kind of peer pressure than I experienced nearly 20 years ago.
I have read shelves full of books on parenting since I first purchased What to Expect When You’re Expecting. Some of them contained horrible training advice. In my zeal, I followed some of it to the point of tears and exhaustion (theirs and mine). Some of it led to complete frustration because it simply wasn’t Biblical or practical. I have probably tried just about every parenting philosophy espoused by Christians at some point.
I believe the Bible is the only infallible Book. Any true parenting help must come from the One Who gave us our children. I began to lay aside books and rely more on the Book, regardless of its silence on issues like potty training and the benefits of organic snacks for toddlers.
I can count on one hand the amount of books I would recommend to a new mother regarding parenting, probably with a few fingers left. When I was given a new parenting book to review, I was intrigued by the title, but frankly didn’t expect much new content after all the books I’ve read. However, as I progressed in the book, I realized it was one I wish I would have had from the beginning.
Raising Passionate Jesus Followers: The Power of Intentional Parenting is a dose of encouragement and practical help. Phil and Diane Comer, the authors, are veteran parents who have raised four children now happily married and serving God. The first thing that refreshed me while reading this book is the simple (but not easy) one goal in parenting they espouse:
To partner with God in intentionally raising sons and daughters who grow up to become passionate Jesus followers. The goal is children who love God with passion and love people on purpose.
That is exactly what I want for my children!
The Comers use the metaphor of building a house to describe raising a child. They show how each stage of parenting is like a stage of building. We lay the foundation for the first five years of our child’s life. We “frame” the house during the next six years. In the teenage years, we install the functional systems. We are doing the finishing work up until they are 22 years of age. The authors conclude the book with excellent advice on how to open the door of the finished house and let them go as well.
I found this book to be a delightful blend of inspiration, practical instruction and conviction. I see plenty of things I could have done better in my children’s younger years. Many of the things I learned the hard way are mentioned in a gentle manner. Each section even has a one page summary to help remind the reader of the main point of that section. While I still believe the Bible to be the only infallible authority on child training, I can recommend this one as a practical, encouraging resource. I’m sure I will return to the last sections of the book many more times as we navigate through the teen and letting go years.