Cherishing Marriage


Note: Over the next week, I’m going to take you with me on a meander through my day. No two days look alike around here, but this will give you a glimpse on my daily rituals of cherishing life. I do this very imperfectly. I would love to hear about your own rituals in the comments. And don’t forget to check out my favorite resources on the bottom of these posts.

You might have wondered how I got this far in my day without mentioning my husband. Due to his work schedule, we don’t get much time in the morning together. Due to my work schedule, we rarely get time in the afternoon together. A few evenings we have separate commitments, so we don’t always get to spend time together then. Weekends are precious to our marriage, but a marriage can’t survive on weekends.

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I have learned over the years that the wedding, honeymoon, the romantic nights away and the date nights, while lovely memorable events, aren’t what makes a marriage. I know my marriage doesn’t look like yours, but let me tell you a few of the things I cherish in our marriage:

Getting up every single morning to make sure my husband has his coffee, his breakfast and his lunch. And to always kiss him goodbye and tell him I love him. A lady once told me that she kissed her husband goodbye as he left for work and that was the last she saw him alive. What if she had missed that kiss because she was too tired to get up?

Picking up his pajamas dropped on the floor beside his bed and putting them away. I once heard a story of a woman who complained all the time because her husband left his water glass beside his bed instead of taking it to the kitchen. After their divorce, she often stared at that empty bedside table and wished she could take those words back.

The things my husband does for me far outweigh these small things I do for him. Here are just a few more things I cherish:

Getting in the car and seeing my gas tank is already full. Afternoon coffee together when our schedules align. How he will give me his honest opinion when I ask, not just what he thinks I want to hear. A delicious standing rib roast dinner prepared by my husband while I read a book. How he calmly listens while I explain I just scraped the bumper of our new car and refuses to lecture me or get angry.

Long Saturday morning conversations when we don’t have to be anywhere. How he can handle a firearm or a newborn baby with the same perfect skill. Strolling through the woods hand in hand, with or without the kids. How he follows the conversation perfectly when I forget he hasn’t been listening to my thoughts for the last 10 minutes and I make a random comment. How he knows when to say, “Why don’t you take a break and go out by yourself for awhile?”

Laughing together over the recent antics of the kids. How he pitches in and makes that dessert I need to take to the potluck and loads the dishwasher, too. How he tucks the child back in after they fell out of bed. Passing each other on the road while he’s on his way home and I’m on my way to drop off a kid and hearing him beep his horn in recognition. How he brings home a bushel of farm tomatoes or a bag of apples from a roadside stand for me.

How he reads my mind perfectly when we’re in a crowded room and I need to talk to him but all I can do is nod or cock an eyebrow. Watching him be a dad—it never gets old. How he holds me when I’m hurting. Sunday afternoon naps. How he supports my dreams and always believes in me. Being a couple, parents, lovers, best friends, and confidantes.

The best part of marriage is the everyday.

Resources for Cherishing Marriage:

Creative Counterpart by Linda Dillow – One of the first books on marriage I remember reading and is still on my shelf.

Have a New Husband by Friday by Kevin Leman – Yeah, it’s not what you think. The problems you may think you’re having with your husband? It may not be him at all. 😉

Dr. Dobson’s resources and books

I can’t resisting sharing my current favorite love song by one of my favorite pianists. Skip it if you’re not into that kind of thing: The Gift by Jim Brickman



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